R.R. Patil (the ex-deputy CM of Maharashtra) and Achuthanandan (the current CM of Kerala) are instructed by their respective high commands to enroll in community service and “proper communication” course after their recent gaffe. This is a fictional dialogue (though their Press statements were true) when they meet face-to-face during the course.
Achuthanandan (hereafter, referred to as A) and R.R. Patil (as R) are attending a lecture on “how to speak professionally” during the afternoon hours. Both are benchmates and are easily the odd men out in the crowd of youngsters.
A: (yawning)
R: (equally yawning)
A: Damn it! This lecture is too boring and I cannot see a single word on the black board.
R: I feel that same. I cannot understand a single word.
A: (thinking to self) Why am I here on the first place? (asking R) What about you? Why are you here?
R: Oh! me? (again yawning). I told the truth and the Press, as usual, distorted it and turned me over here.
A: What did you say?
R: I told the Press that “…in big cities one-two incidences can occour, but saying that total intelligence failure is not correct”. But they published it as “It’s not unusual for such small incidents to happen in big cities. They (terrorists) came to kill 5,000 people but we ensured minimal damage”
A: (smirks) Ah! I see.
R: What about you?
A: Can’t an old man in his senses vent his anger? I only vented my frustration on not being able to pay homage to a {censored-word} Commando. The Press blew it out of proportion.
R: Oh, I see. What did you say?
A: The slain Commando’s {censored-word} father didn’t consider my homage. So, I said “Even a dog would not have come here if it had not been for Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan becoming a martyr”. Can’t an old man have the right of expression? Where is this country headed to?
R: (smirks at the old man)
A: I should better curtail the freedom of Press.
R: That is a good idea! I think I will push towards curtailing their freedom as I did by banning dance bars. I am a good moral policeman. That is the reason the free-Press hates me.
(If the above statements from the so-called Statesmen irk you, it reminds me of a comedy from Koundamani-Senthil pair)
K: டேய்…டேய்…நில்லுடா. ஏன்டா ஓடி வர?
S: அண்ணே, என்னைய யானை துரத்துது னே
K: யானை துரத்துற அளவுக்கு என்ன பன்ன?
S: அண்ணே, யானைக்கு பால் தானே கொடுத்தேன
K: அது நல்ல விஷயம் ஆச்சே. அதுக்கா உன்னைய துரத்துது?
S: ஆமானே…யானைக்கு டீஸ்பூன்ல பால் கொடுத்தேனே
K: (staring at Senthil) கேக்கற எனக்கே இவ்வளவு டென்ஷன் ஆனா? யானைக்கு எவ்வளவு டென்ஷன் இருக்கும்?